Failure is a gift only given to the humble.

Failure, Is it a moment of rest when we give up on what we need and dream. Is that how we get past are lost aspirations? By resting from our labors and seeing where we went wrong? The moments of defeat when we cant stand on our own is the time where we were too cowardly to admit that its time we fall down and start again. We fall from what we have dreamed up and realize what we have.

Winter is the perfect time for falling, the cold sets in and our minds are given time to think about what we have done and what needs to change for the new year. While i was out on a ride about ( kinda like a walk about but with a bike instead) I heard the words "Failure is a gift only given to the humble"  I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

Up's and flatlines.^----^

Everyone say's they have their up's and downs. The past little bit i had the impression i was having a "down" but today i had a new more hopeful idea, I'd like to view the world differently instead of going down from your ups, sometimes we just stay at the same spot way too long. We stop improving and become ungrateful for what we have. How can we go down from what we already have experienced that doesn't make much sense does it? Sure we can go down in income or in friends but we can never become less of a person. Our soul and personality are always improving and gaining a new lesson. It is in our flatlines that we are just waiting to learn something new. We haven't fallen down! We've just gone momentarily blind. 

karst

This is a karst landscape you can see that the  land is bumpy from spots of the earth decaying underneath the surface, these landscapes cause sinkholes and all types of mischief. (This post may seem incredibly random and boring but i do have a point, and its a pretty rad and insightful one so please continue reading.)

 This is also a karst landscape in china, the top of these mountains at one point used to be equal with the land, over time the land changed from a prairie to mountainous all from riding itself of unstable, and ungrounded dirt. In time when all the dirt was washed and sunken away there came to be beautiful and tall mountains. The amazing part of this was the mountain was already there but no one knew it.

Our existence should be the same as these mountains we all have a mountain in our souls, we all have a glorious purpose in our life, we all have something in our souls that is as strong as solid rock. Our life is a constant struggle to rid us of our imperfections. Were born into the world a prairie and our goal is to leave a mountain. We cant become a mountain by rising up above our prairie we can only become one by looking inward, our mountain is already with us. Its not something we create its something we discover. To become a mountain is no easy task it takes pain and struggle to find out who we truly are. It takes losing the parts of us that we mistook for rock. It takes years of loss and discovery but if we don't spend all our talents and ability's to rid us of our imperfections then we put sentiment on our mountain top and prairie. We then can to easily lose sight of what makes us, us. I never want to lose my vision I want to find out what i have in me to make a mountain.

change

As i fill a online banking account they ask me ten questions about my life, some of them were, " whats my favorite animal, where does my closest sibling live, and whats my dream job." I came to a realization that all the answers to these questions could change tomorrow, i used to believe myself to be so original, to have a forward thinking focus and the base of who i am couldn't change, just when i choose my future life with the love of my life everything else changes, im suddenly hit with doubts of everything from what are my interests to what my career goals are. Im pretty grateful i have someone by my side during this time of discovery, it makes it more exciting as well. the only thing i have to worry about is will i know the answers to my bank account tomorrow.

my thoughts.

four years ago
I would like some success.
I would like some happyness.
I would like some love.
I would like some stability.

yesterday
I would really like it if you stopped  the failing.
I would really like it if you stopped  the hurting.
I would really like it if you stopped  the braking.
I would really like if if you stopped  the instability.

today
I made it threw the failing,
I really love the success.
I made it threw the hurting,
I really love the happiness.
I made it threw the braking,
I really love the love.
I made it threw the instability,
I really love the stability.
Thanks for teaching me.

life

I once saw my life for what it could be eventually.
A arch carved out by the winds of time.

I once saw my life for what I perceived it to be.
A kite that always fell, due to things I cant control.

I once saw my life naively as a fairy tale.
A Disney movie that always ended perfectly.


I once saw my life as one full of regrets.
A mistake is made, and sorrow takes its place.

Contradiction.

I Am already a arch inside,
I have something that can help another.

I Am a kite that has highs and lows,
I have a heart to hold me down, guiding me threw the storms.

I Am a Disney movie's night in shining armor,
I have the potential to love a woman though and though.

I Am a man thats full of regrets,
A man that learned from them.

Content.

My friends lately have told me i've grown up, at first i didn't know how to take it. Then last night a friend said this about me and everything finally clicked and i realized what being "grown up" was.
"your always happy and have a smile on your face now, and its not from teasing or doing something immature your actually happy:"

Swimming suit.

            Last night i realized i had finally grown up, yeah i'm still a punk and a tad bit immature but im finally happy with life, I've got plenty of worry's and sorrows but there came a point in my life where i decided to see the upside. life will always have downs, I will always have insecurities, I will always have days where I feel lonely, I will always have days where I doubt what my purpose in life is. No matter what "it" is I will always have something to battle against, and thats where my mind used to always stay in that clouded insecure haze. Then I realize there is one thing that breaks apart the despair, Its the process of learning from experience, no matter what i drag my body and spirit threw I will always be able to learn something new, and I will always come out a little better than I was before. So no more sad Greg upset with his disposition in life. I'm content with life and i cant wait to live every minute of it. Even the sad, worried, hurt and depressed times.