Tuesday, March 30, 2010

whats love got to do with it?

To me beauty is love, when I think of all the things that I believe to be beautiful love is the feeling that fills my soul so I thought what do I think is beautiful? Women and nature came first to my mind. Why do i think these are beautiful? Why do I love them so much? I realized that their my other half's there parts of me that i myself cant be. I cant have the compassion of a woman or the understanding and faith. I have to love a woman for her to share those aspects of who she is. Love is a bond that connect two and when looking at it "it's" beautiful.
Nature is everything that isn't me, its woods mountains, desserts and city's. Certain types of landscapes connect me to how I feel inside. In high school i was confused alone and rushed so I felt at home when i was in the city, it connected me to how I felt inside.
Last summer I was anxious for a new start I wanted to prove myself and I wanted a challenge so my soul felt at home on the peaks of mountain tops. Anytime I closed my eyes thats where I was that landscape fit my soul and I thought there was nothing more beautiful.

Now after my challenges and heartbreaks with lost loves my soul lies in a dessert. the desserts of southern Utah, Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado . Theres a peace that comes to me when im out there everything's calm, everything's smooth. The land is flat when cliffs do appear theres sand rock and there smooth. everything is subject to the wind. Its like how I feel now im at peace and I feel that everything I do is subject to god and that im okay with it.

Its just like the redrock in southern Utah it has waited to get to be turned into something amazing. they become arches. I feel at peace there because my goal in life is to become an arch. I am willing to subject myself to what god wants not what I want, and im willing to let God, (or the wind) take its time on me and turn me into what I should be. in till then im satisfied just being in a dessert. The sun is visible from sunrise to sunset, theres no clouds to get in my way and no mountains to delay the sun. I think I have found the landscape my soul will forever reside in.

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